Untitled, for Loss of Words

Tags

, , ,

DSC_1414

It has been the most beautiful fall imaginable here, the hills all aglow with scattered patches of bright green farmland and little specks of barns in the distance.  And we are only just now entering the slow decrescendo: the trees letting go of their leaves, letting them fall like flakes of gold or maybe like so many beautiful tears. Standing tall and strong as they lose their treasure, teaching us the grace of loss. A whole winter-long to learn and re-learn this lesson from them. I keep saying the Hopkins poem over and over in my head, “Margaret, are you grieving over Goldengrove unleaving?…” And then, the other one, this morning: “The Holy Ghost over the bent world broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

DSC_0592

Today all I can think is this, that the true ruler is a Prince of Peace, who leads by gentleness and grace. A King who turns swords into plows and speaks with dignity and courtesy to women and outsiders. May he return soon and make All Things Well. Until then, lighting all the candles I can find as flickering specks of hope, reading all the good Poems in the Good Book, and taking lots and lots of really deep breaths.  All shall be well and all manner of things shall be well:

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and of peace

there will be no end,

on the throne of David and over his kingdom,

to establish it and to uphold it

with justice and with righteousness

from this time forth and forevermore.

Isaiah 9

New Fall Wardrobe (for Free, and a Practice in Contentment). Part I.

Tags

, ,

DSC_2049.jpg

It’s been truly fall here for about a month now. A few weeks ago I slowly packed away my summer things and pulled out sweaters and leggings and wool socks. Most of my clothes seemed a bit bedraggled: pills on sweaters; a tiny hole in a frumpy flannel shirt dress sent to me by my sweet best friend who sometimes sends me a random box of clothes; and my one pair of jeans is faded and stretched out.

What I really wanted was to buy a NEW FANCY EVERYTHING for the fall. But what I did instead was just eliminate the ugly, give everything else a good wash, and I only put back the things I like! (And, ok, I bought 3 new long sleeved shirts, but more about that later). The only reason I’m writing about this is that I oddly enough loved this process SO MUCH, y’all. It was glorious. With two little children underfoot, it took a few weeks. I went one drawer at a time. It was messy and inconvenient. But it was completely worth it! (This is one of the big piles, which also includes children’s laundry and a dinosaur tail:)

dsc_2031

Over the past few years of living in teensy apartments I have had to slowly (& somewhat ruthlessly) purge my clothes. I know the minimalist wardrobe thing is all the fashion right now, and the last thing I want to do is to be associated with any kind of Movement or Trend or anything horrible like that. So it’s with actually much humility and gall that I have to admit that I do love the minimalist thing going on. I just do. And the reason is that the fewer things I have the happier I am. As hard as it is to part with clothes that have sentimental value or that I might want to wear someday, etc., whenever I have less in my drawers I feel freer. When I don’t have to sift through a bunch of junk to find what I actually like to wear, life is just a small bit easier. And I need that right now.  (And there’s this.)

(There’s a whole long conversation here– yes, I should feel happy and free regardless of my circumstances, and especially with kids in the house mothers must learn to be ok even in the midst of chaos. BUT I do think having closets and shelves and drawers overflowing with things has a sort of choking effect on us that is quite real and damaging. Thorns and thistles, y’all. It’s just as easy to worship at the altar of minimalism as anything else, but there’s a strain of simplicity that goes quite far back in the church, and what I’m aiming for is more or less a nun’s habit than anything else. A few simple outfits that are sturdy and practical. Um, does that make sense?)

ANYWAY.

So, here’s how I did it: As I took summer things out of my closet and drawers I took every single thing out of a given drawer. I didn’t do it all at once, but sweeping everything out of a drawer to really get a look at things was a game changer. And then I thought about things before I stuffed them back into storage: does this actually fit me? Is this too dingy to wear next summer? Did I actually wear this at all? Do I need this, even if it isn’t quite perfect? (This is the hardest thing for me, because it would be lovely to just burn everything and replace it with priceless, heirloom quality clothing handmade in Brooklyn. But that is not an option, so the sturdy and practical summer pants that are too big but are excellent for hikes and sitting in sandboxes with the little ones,  and which could, I guess, be tied up with a string or something next summer, those are going to stay for now. The white t-shirt with stains is going to go.)

Here are the general steps to take, once it starts cooling off wherever you live:

(ALSO, CAVEAT!!!!! This is not supposed to make anyone feel guilty! I was only able to do this because my 3 year old is in pre-school this fall! Your drawers and closet will look different! I just want to wear white t-shirts every day, so that’s what I do. You do you, ok? The ONLY reason I am sharing this at all is because it literally felt like one of the most joyous things I have done in a long time. I went from feeling “Ugh, I hate all my clothes” to “Wow, I like all my clothes!” just from doing this process. But if you have a newborn baby or if you’re working full time or if you just don’t feel like doing this, that is completely fine. Just do you.)

Step One: Pull everything out. Thank you, Mari Kondo. You were right after all. It seems like such a hassle, but taking all the things out is a game-changer. You don’t have to do everything all at once, but it does help if you do, say, a whole drawer at a time.  Only put back things you KNOW that you will LOVE to wear in the winter. For me that was some cardigans, camisoles, a few t-shirts. Then, as you pack summer things away think about whether each item is truly worth keeping. This doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out thing. Stuff you didn’t like to wear this summer, just let it go. Don’t pack it away to moulder in a dark box for half a year.  See below for some links to helpful posts about really cleaning things out.  (I keep one of those long, low tupperware storage boxes under my bed to keep most of my off season clothes so if for some reason I need a bathing suit or a certain t-shirt it will be within easy reach).

Step Two: Pull out your winter clothes from wherever they’re stored. I had some packed away in a closet and some in my under-the-bed tupperware, so I pulled all of them out. If any strike you immediately as things that no longer fit or that you aren’t decently content with seeing, put them in a pile to get rid of. Send nice things to Thred Up and less nice things to the thrift store. Store maternity/nursing/too big/too small things if you are in the midst of the childbearing years. (Again, see links below for some encouragement, helpful tips, and ethereal Japanese advice. Or, if you’re nursing/pregnant/postpartum/might get pregnant again, store clothes that you might need for those phases but which don’t work in your current phase/size.)

Step Three: Of the clothes that you like and which fit: put washables in the laundry. Wash them! This is the really important and awesome part. Take sweaters and coats to the cleaner if that’s in your budget or just give them a good wash in the tub with Woolite if you’re a normal person. (I never made it to washing my sweaters, so I just let them air out a bit as I was going through them and getting rid of some.) If anything needs to be mended or needs buttons, mend it! Or find a tailor!

A BIG part of this step for me was gathering all my (clean) winter clothes in one spot, sorting them by category, and looking at them. I had about 15 sweater-type things, for example. This seemed a little crazy, so I just got rid of my least favorite maybe 5 or 6. I did the same thing for shirts. I realized that I never wear any 3/4 sleeve shirts. They just don’t work for me. So I got rid of some really super cute ones that in theory should be perfect but which I never wear.

Below: stacks of washed and folded things, being sorted through again before going on hangers or into drawers:

dsc_2040dsc_2043

Step Four: Put your fresh, clean, lovely favorite winter clothes away. Only the things you love.  And voila, a fall wardrobe which, through the process of elimination, has become beautiful. And if not perfect, a little better than it would be clogged with too much. Spend a little time with this new arrangement and see if it works before you buy anything new.

dsc_2103

dsc_2105dsc_2104

Some blog posts & books to inspire & assist: 

Slow Fashion October

Growing a Minimalist Wardrobe (a helpful, if almost unbearably pretentious, blog series about paring down). And Seasonal Editing.

Downsizing Your Wardrobe with Common Sense (a less obnoxious blog post, and one that addresses women in the midst of the childbearing years– not a flashy blog, but I LOVE everything this woman has written about simplifying the home in general & closets in particular!)

And a whole article on managing one’s wardrobe during, after, and in-between pregnancies.

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up (I know this book isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but despite all of the obvious criticisms I love it; and re-reading what she has to say about clothes might be a helpful way to jump start the process of getting rid of things)

(If you do need to buy any wardrobe staples, consider using this link to shop at Everyone. High quality basics at good prices.)

Life Lately (A Birthday and Berries and Other Things)

Tags

, , ,

 

DSC_1799.jpgIt’s summer here, finally. My mom came to town for 8 days which meant: a date night; Will’s hair got combed; and I got to sleep in for a lot of days in a row.  And she bought me two darling linen dresses from Old Navy, but that’s a post for another day. My mom is awesome. It was also Margaret’s birthday, so we pulled out the camera a bunch to get some pictures. (John’s parents are also awesome, for the record, and they were here for Will’s birthday, which I just haven’t gotten around to writing about because life is just in full swing around here.)DSC_1783.jpgDSC_1815.jpgDSC_1840.jpgDSC_1867.JPGDSC_1877.JPGDSC_1903.jpgDSC_1904.JPGDSC_1941.jpgDSC_1967.jpgI bought pretty much every kind of berry, plus cherries, at the grocery for Margaret’s birthday (one year since she so gloriously popped right out in our bathtub, on accident). And peonies. I made a cherry tart, but we put the candle in a little bowl of whipped cream with a raspberry on top. I’m normally  not the best at executing party-things, but we managed to put up a little banner and have cute plates and napkins and whatnot! DSC_1988.jpg

So anyway. It feels like a complete victory that we got some actual pictures of this child and her birthday. I haven’t wanted to post anything in a long time, and I hesitate even to post this, because it’s so easy to look at other people’s photographs of one little slice of time and not see all the other slices of time that are so very unphotogenic. Things are generally messy and ever so slightly hectic and just yesterday I had my first hair cut in six months, and there is some insane toddler behavior and babies who crawl around trying to put everything in their mouths and husbands who travel for work and all of that. We are at a point where scrambled eggs constitutes a fancy dinner. True story.  But it’s summer and we don’t have to wear coats and socks and gloves and hats to walk out the door! And these babies are fat and healthy! And John wakes up with them just about every morning so I can sleep in a tiny bit! And things are beautiful in an intense and crazy sort of way, and I am thankful. DSC_1915.jpg

Happy Father’s Day to Him & so on

Tags

, , ,

DSC_1450.JPG

Almost a year ago today you straddled the bathtub next to me and caught our baby girl. The paramedic rushed in and gave you a blade and your cut her cord with your own two hands. I know you didn’t believe I was really in labor until she was literally on her way out, but you did a beautiful job nonetheless.

This has been an exhausting year: potty training the toddler, moving, job stuff. Lots of bath times and cleaning food off of small people’s faces and hands (jam hands!). Lots of laundry and diaper changes and sweeping floors. Car repairs and shoveling snow and taking the trash out, over and over and over.

Thank you for being a hero to all three of us in the midst of the hectic and mundane. For reminding me to slow down and enjoy the little in-between moments. For taking Will on adventures. For inventing beautiful and curious games to play with him. For all the stories you read and music you play. For all your patience and goodness. For planting that little mint yesterday on top of everything else. I can’t believe I get to do this whole crazy life with you. Happy Father’s Day, sweetie.

(And a very happy day to our dads, too. We love you each so much. Thank you for everything.)

A Creative Economy is the Fuel of Magnificence, Parisian Onion Soup, and Other Things

Tags

, , , , ,

DSC_1841DSC_1840

I’ve had M.F.K. Fisher’s book How to Cook a Wolf on my list for ages, and I finally got around to requesting it from the library. Because I am trying not to buy every book I want to read on Amazon. Fisher wrote this book in 1942 to teach women how to cook and eat well in the midst of the scarcity of war. How to make do, but do it well. Chapters include “How to Rise Up Like New Bread” and “How to Be Cheerful Though Starving.” Gorgeous. Even if you have no interest in cooking any of her recipes the writing is stunning. Her chapter on eggs had me in hysterics.

One of the chapters’ epitaphs, a quotation from Emerson, reads: “A creative economy is the fuel of magnificence.” Yes. Amen.

DSC_1855DSC_1842

(This table of contents should look familiar to everyone, because I know all of you own Tamar Adler’s An Everlasting Meal by now.)

It was only after I had started caramelizing a heap of onions in my second-biggest stockpot this morning, in anticipation of making an onion-potato soup for tonight’s dinner, that I read far enough to see her recipe for “Parisian Onion Soup” followed a few pages later by her recipe for “Cream of Potato Soup.” I will call my soup Parisian Onion Soup with Creamed Potatoes. Because it sounds better than “Random Vegetable Soup That I Plan to Puree So That Will Will eat the Onions.” (Because this child eats everything, but he doesn’t like little pieces of onions in things).

We are so conditioned to think that every meal requires an enormous, solid chunk of animal meat with it, and that to me seems such a violent and inelegant way to nourish oneself and one’s family. And we forget that a nicely cooked pot of vegetables can be a supper worthy of a Frenchman, maybe just served with a glass of red wine and a tiny morsel of cheese. Better a supper of herbs, etc.

So anyway, How to Cook a Wolf is lovely. A good cookbook, but mostly a book to be read for the stunning prose. It is more delightful than any novel I’ve read within recent memory. And borrowing books from the library feels strangely thrilling and sort of subversive. I do not need to buy all the objects! A creative economy!

Anyway, in the life of the family: Margaret is 8 months old and sort of floppily sitting up. Eating like a champ and basically being the most sanguine, happy, darling baby of all time.  We started moving her crib to the living room at night, and she immediately started sleeping the night through. It’s a bit Gaffigan-esque of us, but that’s how we like it. Who needs a bunch of bedrooms, anyway? Not us. Will adores her and requires her to sit right next to him at all meals.  When he pretends to be anything, she is a baby whatever it is: baby baseball player, baby kangaroo, baby fire dog (when he’s a fireman).

IMG_4932.jpg

 

Anyway, we made it through February, and we only have to exist in Ithaca for 10 more days before escaping to Nashville for the remainder of winter!!!!!!!!! Will is officially out of diapers, both night and day. It feels like I won the lottery. So life is good, except for Donald Trump and income taxes.

p.s. This is Hilarious (youtube video for parents. If you’re not a parent, this will probably not be funny, or even make sense). I have been dying all week.

Valentine’s Day & Good poems for Lonely Hearts

Tags

, , , , ,

DSC_1889

John was out of town for work all of last week. My mom came monday night, just in time for Ithaca to get cold again. The temperature was in the negatives this morning. She brought heart-shaped cookie cutters and we’ve made cookies and heart pancakes and oh lots of things.

DSC_1850DSC_1886DSC_1879

John came back & he and will made this heart garland (above) for me. (Based on this little Valentine’s Day book we’ve checked out from the library to read with Will. Kind of a deep book about how a little mouse makes a huge valentine and wants to find someone to give it to, but it’s too big for anyone else so he and the little girl mouse cut it up into smaller valentine’s to give to lots of people. I mean, that’s really deep for a children’s Valentine’s Day book, right?)

On these cold days we need all the strung up hearts and little honey-spice cookies and treats we can get. My toes refuse to warm up, even in thick wool socks and shearling-lined slippers. I vowed last year that I would never do another winter here, and well, here we are.

DSC_1849DSC_1872DSC_1865DSC_1830

(Above: Will and my mom doing one of many baking projects together; Will eating raw batter. Below: Keeping things classy with orange paper plates.)

DSC_1842

And maybe it’s just me and my enneagram type or my idealism or having read too many Jane Austen and L. M. Montgomery novels at an impressionable age, but even with all these babies and this really, really good man (and the sweetest parents ever and friends far beyond what I ever deserved) my heart still feels so lonely and so sad sometimes. And I wanted to write a whole thing about this, about Simone Weil and Augustine and the void and our hearts being empty and restless and all that, but I just am so exhausted from babies and toddlers not sleeping that I can’t.

But just very briefly. I wanted to say, especially on this particular day, that our hearts are made with this infinite empty space and this space aches so much sometimes. Even when you’re married. Even when you have little darling babies who are latched onto you 24 hours a day.

DSC_1888

And I wish I knew how to make it stop, but pretty much everything from Jesus to Anne Lamott seems to suggest that we just have to sit with the emptiness and let it be a little empty, without trying to stuff it down with all the chocolate in the world, cough, cough. not me, other people, I mean. Other people do that.

But Jesus, annoyingly, showed us that sometimes we have to sit in a garden and cry. Sometimes we have to pray, “God, why have you left me completely forsaken and alone?” And that is a hard prayer to pray. There is nothing fun or easy or cute about that prayer.  But maybe one of the main reasons I believe the Bible to be true is that the longest book in the whole thing is a book of poems.Poems for empty hearts. Poems for the betrayed, poems for the angry, poems for the soul-starved. Ok, so they are poem-prayers. And ok, the first and second ones are a little austere, if you’re starting from the beginning. You can skip around. 3, 4, 13, 16, 18, 22, 23, 27, 30, 31, 32, 40, 42, 46, 56, 62, 63, 69, 73, 84, 90, 91, 121, 130, and 143 are some particularly good ones.

And the beautiful thing about these particular poems is that they don’t leave us in our misery. There is plenty of room for wallowing and languishing and angst in these poems. They say that every single one of our tears is counted. Matters. But these poems carry us through the ache and into the holy, shining radiant love of God. They gently teach us that our own empty heart is not the center of all things but that the beautiful Home of God is the center of all things. And that that dwelling place, that lovely home, is what our hearts long for (Psalm 84).

And the other beautiful thing is that Jesus prayed all of these poems for us. He became the loneliest and most forsaken for us. And there are no depths we feel that he has not felt. And he is just gathering us all up &  oh so soon will mend all the broken hearts & wipe all the tears from the saddest faces and bring us all home. (speaking of which, pleasepleaseplease listen to this song.) Anyway, happy valentine’s day, y’all.

DSC_1856

Stories and Light for The Ones Who Are Waiting (It was Candlemas)

Tags

, , , ,

DSC_0696

Yesterday was Candlemas. I wanted to write all about how people used to take their candles to churches to have them blessed for the coming year, wanting the very light in their homes to be flickers of holy church-light. How in France they celebrate with crepes. How it’s the Holy Day that commemorates Jesus being brought to the temple when he was a baby and placed into the waiting arms of old Simeon, and how Anna the ancient widow beheld the face of her Redeemer. How Candlemas is probably rooted in wild pagan festivals to celebrate the ending of winter and the lightening of days, but how maybe we need all the wild festivals we can get our hands on when the world is so dark and so, so cold.

And I wanted to write about how this small, unnoticed holiday is maybe a holiday for the people who are waiting. Huddling under blankets, crying eyes out in the dark or in the car on the way to work. Waiting for things to change, waiting the long days of every month for a baby to get conceived, or for a husband or for something to make this cold world feel not quite so broken.

DSC_0649

And then by the time I realized I wanted to write all of this, the day was waning and it was warm (40 degrees! In February!) so we all went outside and I played baseball with Will while Margaret sat in her carseat draped with a blanket, and then it was dinner time and the house was a mess and I was trying to cut up cabbage to sauté and dropping most of it on the floor because I was so hungry that my hands were shaking and then all the crying and screaming and bedtime drama, and then after the children were in bed I pretty much huddled under a fleece blanket in a state of shock or something. Drinking tea and reading My Mother’s Sabbath Days, coughing piteously, like the rose in The Little Prince.

So I didn’t write what I wanted to write, which is this:

That we don’t sing songs about Anna and Simeon in Sunday school. We learn about the ark-builders, the giant-slayers, the ones swallowed by fish or walking through parted seas. We hear about the women who get babies: Hannah, Mary, Elizabeth. And all the miracles and angel choruses, and they are grand and we need every story of the dead being raised and the oil lasting and the bread being multiplied and the angels singing over fields of sheep.

DSC_1843

We don’t sing songs about the quiet old folks who sat in the temple and waited all those long, aching days.  But maybe we should. Maybe we need the unremarkable story of this old priest who served in the temple, doing ordinary things every single day, just “waiting for the consolation of Israel.”

And the old prophetess Anna who was at least 84 years old and had lived most of her years as a widow. She was single. “She did not depart from the temple, worshipping with fasting and prayer night and day.” (Luke 2:37). Her entire life was a prayer. She prayed; that’s who she was.

Anna and Simeon, they lived quiet days. Days of longing and ache and somehow of trusting and worshipping God in the midst of the longing and ache.

And then Mary and Joseph bring this tiny baby in and lay him in Simeon’s hopeful arms. And Simeon took the baby up in his arms and blessed God. Took the Consolation of Israel into his empty arms and thanked God. And Anna after all her unremarkable years or prayer, of inhabiting God’s house with no husband, no miracles, no displays of glory. Just being faithful in ordinary days. I like to think that when she saw the baby she knew instantly Who he was, picked up the folds of her dress, and ran over to him with the abandon and glee of a little girl. I picture her and Simeon passing the tiny baby back and forth, just laughing and dancing with joy.

DSC_0213

And maybe Isaiah was right when he wrote that the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married (54:1). Maybe the ones who wait the longest with the least will one day be blessed just a bit more? And maybe Saint John was praying the best prayer of all when he wrote the last prayer of the Bible: Even so, Come Lord Jesus. A prayer of longing for Jesus to return.

So until He does & until our desperate prayers are answered, we light candles against the darkness and eat crepes to makes us happy and read poems by Gerard Manly Hopkins and sing hymns and keep telling each other the good stories from the Good Book. We keep sweeping the floor and washing dishes and driving to work, doing ordinary things over and over again in the midst of our ordinary days. With broken hearts or broken bodies.  Waiting maybe for angels or manna or honey from a rock, but maybe it will only be the Messiah.

January: Some Good Things, a Fat Baby, Weather, etc.

Tags

, , , ,

DSC_1782DSC_1793

DSC_1879Life around here is so beautiful and so crazy. We all have terrible colds so I’m making little potions for us of cayenne pepper and honey and apple cider vinegar and kleenex are strewn about hither and yon in the way you’d imagine they would be in the home of an INFP mother of two babies.

DSC_1877

It has been a mild winter so far; we have had several days above freezing so far. Unlike last winter. But we won’t speak of last winter.

I bought plane tickets to take the children and myself to Nashville in late March, by which time the South will be all daffodils and sunshine and joy and low taxes, and Ithaca will be 14 degrees and miserable. I cannot wait. I’m flying by myself with a baby and a toddler and I don’t even care.

Some good things around here lately:

DSC_1878

Bullet journal!!!! I want to recite all of shakespeare’s sonnets to you every day.

DSC_1783

Making butter with some cream I found on sale at the co-op. Awesome toddler activity.

Watching lots of Jeeves and wooster with the toddler. He’s obsessed. It’s the best.

This baby:

There are lots of other good things I wanted to write about, but I am being clawed at by a toddler. More later.

The New Year and Just About the Best Thing I Ever Did

Tags

, , , ,

DSC_1820

Just a quick update. Life is beautiful and crazy. I just started a bullet journal yesterday (using this as a guide) and I love it more than life itself, pretty much.

I don’t have much in the way of New Year’s resolutions, but I do want to cook my way slowly and haphazardly through Jerusalem, a cookbook I’ve heard about over and over the past couple of years and then finally cooked no fewer than 6 recipes out of with my mother in law one afternoon over Christmas. The dinner we made was epic and insanely delicious as of course anything with that much garlic and cilantro and lemon juice and za’atar would be. It was exhausting, but glorious.

Which, by the way, pretty much sums up my entire year. Exhausting but (or maybe I should say and) glorious. A toddler, being pregnant, being a chaplain, living through last winter in Ithaca, giving birth in a bathtub in complete terror and ecstasy, and now two babies, another winter, and potty training the toddler. Heights of glory and depths of, well, something.

DSC_1809.JPG

I also want to listen to more music this year and read more novels. So those are my resolutions or hopes or intentions or whatever.

Next on the agenda. So obviously the best thing I ever did was to marry the most amazing man in the world. And then the next best few things I ever did were: go to Davidson College, birth two babies without pain medication, and sing in a gospel choir when I was in grad school. But maybe the next best thing I ever did is this:

Right before Christmas I had John take Safari off my iphone. I don’t have a facebook app, instragram app, or any other social media apps on there. I also have disabled the email on my phone. So now I can: text, make calls, take pictures, and use a map. Oh, and listen to podcasts. That’s all. At first I kept looking frantically for the safari icon, desperately wanting to check email or Facebook or read something to make me feel good. But now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y’all, I don’t even have words for how awesome this is. Now I have to use the actual computer if I want to check my email or facebook, so it happens maybe 3 times a day instead of 500.

Maybe you are not like me and you have self control and you don’t get sucked into all that crazy not-real stuff, but anyway, I just wanted to share. I am un-tethering myself from that blasted thing & just feeling better and happier and more present than I have in awhile. I know that’s not the answer for everyone, and I’m not trying to be all, “Look how awesome I am.” But it just feels good not to have access to those empty sink holes any more.

Anyway, now i must return to my bullet journal and some trashy tv! Love & joy to everyone and hope your 2016 is going beautifully so far!

Christmas Tree & a Heap of Babies!

Tags

, , ,

DSC_1796IMG_1686IMG_1685

IMG_1729

Christmas tree farm (from a few weeks ago). Will reading, snuggled up on the couch. me and a pile of babies on my lap!!!! Will loves climbing up on my lap when I’m holding Margaret. He’ll say, “Have two babies?” And I’ll say oh yes, I have two babies. And he climbs on up and we all snuggle. (And yes, those are snowman pajamas, and yes, Will isn’t wearing pants.) Just finished all the gift-wrapping. About to make tea and curl up for a little bit with a book! INFP bliss!!! Happy Christmas Eve Eve to all!