Saying Goodbye Already

Little Girl slept 13 whole hours last night.  She ate some carrots with hummus tonight for dinner, which was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.  She saw a dandelion tonight when we went for a walk and stooped down to blow the white fluff off.  I helped her, and she just laughed hysterically.

There is so much more I want to write about how precious she is, how smart she is, how much she makes me laugh, how I love her even though she’s been hitting me some the past 2 days and scratched me pretty hard tonight.  But for some reason I can’t think of what to say.

DSS called and they have found a family that can take both her and her older sister (who is elsewhere right now).  So they said tomorrow or Friday will be her last day with us.  I don’t know how to process this at all.  Because as soon as I saw her I couldn’t hold back any amount of love toward her.  I couldn’t hold back and love her just enough for a few days or a few weeks, the kind of measured and cautious sort of love that one should feel for a child who you know will be leaving you at some point.  I just loved her completely, and so did John.  She instantly became our baby, and we just wanted to hope that somehow she would stay our baby forever.

So anyway.  I don’t know if it will be tomorrow or the next day when she will go to her new family.  We knew that this would happen, and I am glad that she will get to be with her sister.  But damn, I didn’t think it would be this hard.


2 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye Already”

  1. You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being “care-full,” you find yourselves cared for. Matthew 5:7 (Message)
    I’m inspired by your fierce love and courage!

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